The rambling SCUBA-naut!

The Rambling SCUBA-naut doing some Cape Town diving

Sometimes when I’m underwater I drop to the bottom, take off my fins, and walk around like I’m on the moon. Well, I did it once during my PADI Open Water Course, and I think the instructor considered turning off my air. This is my story doing some Cape Town diving!

“You can’t do that Chris.”

“I’m an astronaut, why can’t I?”

“It’s in the blue book. The goddamn blue book.”

So I don’t do that anymore, but sometimes when I get my buoyancy  perfect I pretend I’m in a zero gravity environment. Then I make Darth Vader sounds and float around and fulfil mission objectives in the alien landscapes. Perfect buoyancy, minimal movement. Have you seen Gravity? That girl would suck underwater. Arms everywhere, screaming bloody murder, she’d use up all her oxygen in seconds.

Well I guess what I’m trying to say is, if there is one thing about the ocean and diving that I love, is that it is the closest analogy I can find to the expansiveness of space. It might even be more interesting than space, because we know so little about it. You could finish your Padi open water course, do the advanced open water course, on and on until you’re diving on a mixture of oxygen and testosterone, but still you’ll never go nearly deep enough to really know what is down there (And some of those deep fish are so scary that no amount of testosterone would stop me from screaming like a little girl on fire (Game of Thrones reference)).

And you know what? Scientists are STILL trying to find water on other planets. That means that the only place we know of where scuba diving is possible is planet Earth. Aliens would probably pay astronomical (LOL) prices just to come and swim around with us. So get off your spaceships people, Mars doesn’t have fishes.

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